Monday, October 11, 2010

On the Road Again

Whatever You're doing inside of me,
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving into something Heavenly

2 years ago these words to a song by Sanctus Real played loudly in my head.
After 6 years of being out of full time paid ministry (I say it like that because I believe every Christian is in ministry in some way, just not always as a vocation) we agreed it was time to return to that call on our lives.
We accepted a position at a church in East TN for a full time youth pastor.

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will?
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything
I surrender

I believe with all my heart that it was truly Gods plan for us to be here in TN these last 16 months. Was the plan what we had envisioned? No. It was so much better.

Our family grew tremendously in this short amount of time. God revealed many things to us for our present and future. We are stronger for the time we have had here. We have a passion like never before. I feel so honored and blessed that God would allow us to come to these beautiful mountains and reveal Himself to us.

Now, it is time for us to move on.

Those that know us know our track record for moving.
Some people have a big spring cleaning day once a year.

We move!

With every move I have said I just want to settle down. I want to have a home and stay there!

This year I decided that if God wants to move me, then so be it.

Sorry to my family that is sick and tired of packing and unpacking us. Maybe you should start putting money away every month and just buy us movers???

Speaking of family. I would always struggle when we moved to be away from family.

My family is very close.

I have dreams of sipping coffee with Tanya as we watch our children run around and play. Luke teaching Zane to play the drums. The kids tent making & Mario playing with Kara and Adam. Genesis and Nana sitting side by side with their ipods for hours. The boys sitting on Papa's lap at his desk.....

I would always say, God gives you the desires of your heart. And my hearts desire is to be with my family.

God, you know that so why do you move us away?!?!?

This year, I finally learned what God meant in Luke 14:26
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple."

I had never understood this verse before.

It was actually one of the verses I tried to pretend I didn't see in the Bible.
It made NO sense to me.

Until now.

No I don't hate my family, even if they did say they will never move us again;)

I found out that the love I have for my Father is so deep that the love I have for my family is like hate compared to it.

I could finally say to God that I want what HE has for me.

Whatever that is.

Wherever that is.

And THAT would be the desire of my heart.

We had several interviews and offers. We turned them all down. I knew that the next place God had for us was crucial. For what He has in store for our family and what He is going to do in the community we were headed to.

I do believe that too many times we are waiting for God's perfect will and therefore we sit around being ineffective. His word has it in black and white. No need to wait.

But this time, I felt that there was a specific plan in store.
So we continued to fast and pray.

And guess where God has us going?

Sorry Luke, it's not Colorado. you will have to find other friends to visit there.

We accepted a position at Ridge Manor Church in Brooksville FL.

Now I know that it would seem obvious that we would take a position there. Honestly though, I fought it.

Yes my family is there and some of my best friends. But I wanted to be SO sure that I was going for God and not for me.

God begin to make it VERY clear that this was HIS choice for us.

Is it the easiest place of all the choices? No. We will be stretched and challenged.
But that will keep us right were God wants us, on our knees.

I will miss these mountains. Being able to walk to the creek with the kids.
Watching summer turn to fall and all it's beautiful colors.

I will miss it all.

I am grateful for the time I did have here. We can't always live the kind of life we dreamed of on this earth because it's not about us.

This is not our home.

Whatever You're doing inside of me,
It feels like chaos but I BELIEVE
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life
Something Heavenly

I cannot wait to tell you the things that we are embarking on soon.


Stay Tuned

TN Photo Album

"Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real
*Scroll to the bottom of this page and pause the music player first*






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