You big bully

I have had this on my mind for months now and after my 13 year old daughter showed me a post on FB yesterday I decided it was time to put my thoughts out there.

There is a lot of talk about bulling going around. Tragic stories of kids and teens getting bullied in school and ending with the victims taking their own lives.

We as adults are disgusted. We are heartbroken. We are angry.

How can people be so cruel?! How can one person look at another and make such hurtful comments?!

I will not at all be giving excuses for these bulling teens.

I do however what to say that I have also seen many adults doing the same thing. Grown adults. Mothers. Fathers.  Yes, doing the same.

The post my daughter brought to me, and was appalled herself by, was a status on FB from a women, a mother. It was a picture that her husband had taken of a lady having lunch with her elementary child at school. The picture showed her pants coming down in the back revealing her undergarments.

My daughter pointed out the comments that followed. So many adults laughing at the picture.  Giving virtual high 5's, patting them on the back for capturing such a moment. One person describing a person dressed badly that she wished she had taken a picture of.
One comment even said something like, how did she not know her *** was sticking out,  that's an insecure person that needs attention.

Really people?!! Really?!?! 

There have been times that I have very embarrassingly reached behind me to find that my pants were low. I had no idea! One would think you could feel a breeze or something but nope. 
And to have someone accuse one of having insecure issues. Wow. 

I have seen adults online take pictures and post them all over FB making fun of how big someone is, how they eat, what they are wearing, even a ladies un-manicured toes in the bathroom stall beside them.  Yeah, ok. So you are sitting on the pot taking pictures of the person next to you.  No comment.

On any given day, if you took pictures of me in public you would definitely get a good laugh. In that split second that you have a window in my life you could definitely have FB worthy photo's for the world to laugh at. 

And that is one reason I would never do that to you. 

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." - Matthew 7:12

Oh it's all just fun and games. A good laugh. 

Really? 

Is that what our teens are thinking? 

No harm done. 

"Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving" - Ephesians 5:4 

When I see adults post making fun of someone I think, what if that was a kid posting about one of their children? Would you now find that so funny? 

Come on guys. We need to be an example to this generation. They are watching us.
Like I said, I am not making excuses for teen bullying, but they have to get it from somewhere. and they do see us. They hear us. Let's show this generation how to respect others. Look for the good.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" -Ephesians 4:29

"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing." - 1 Peter 3:8-9

If you need a good laugh stick to watching things like this
 
And next time you're out in public and you see a lady in need of a pedicure, why not be thankful that you can actually afford one.

But GOD

Our amazing, stubborn, sweet, strong, Gabe. WALKING down the aisle for his Kindergarten Graduation. 



As stated on the paperwork giving Gabe up for adoption, "We the parents acting on our free will, being in sound mind and clear memory, give up on our parental rights towards him 
because of bad material condition".



BUT GOD












 

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you HOPE and a FUTURE"

Kole. Ours FOREVER

We have been home 10 weeks now since going to Ukraine to adopt our newest little man. Can I just tell you how absolutely amazing my Kole is. Man I love this boy. There are moments that I sit and wonder how I got to be so blessed to be his mom. I think about him growing up and picture all the laughs and smiles he will bring and then remember that he is MY SON.

Here are some recent facts about our boy:

Kole is 5 years old and has down syndrome.

He is super smart. Dresses himself, eats by himself. He loves to pretend cook and clean.

He is non-verbal but loves to imitate so I am sure he will be talking in no time. He has actually already said the word "hot" and will touch a coffee cup or bowl and say hoooooootttttt.

He has a few signs, his favorite one being "help" which he does in slow motion and very exaggerated.

He is not potty trained but will go if I put him on the toilet. We will be working on time training soon.

He is busy busy busy all day. He always has something in his hands and usually a hat on his head.

He loves clothes. If you leave anything laying around he will put it on.

He is VERY sensitive and will cry loudly at the smallest fall or when being told no.

He is very bossy;) He "tells" all his siblings what to do and not do all day by pointing his little finger at them and shaking his head.

He is shy with new people but once he gets to know you he loves you.

He will pass me during the day and hug my leg, and will randomly plant kisses on my cheek all.day.long. I melt every time.

He is a great sleeper. Although he wakes up most mornings and starts playing in his kitchen and recently has been undoing Levi's lock on his bed tent and letting him out! Silly boys.

Life around here is busy. Having 3 boys in diapers, non-verbal, and needing help in many areas is like having triplets most of the time. Guy is starting full time college in January while still working full time. This will mean that my main helper and support will be gone for the next 2 years. Yes, I am having anxiety already! My plan has been to get as organized as possible with school and all our daily activities so hopefully I can be a somewhat sane mother;)

I am so blessed that God allowed me to be Kole's mommy and look forward to days full of kisses, laughs, and new adventures.


A little late, but I have finally made Kole's Coming Home video which also has photo's from his last 10 weeks being home. Enjoy!

You're my Baby, you're my Sunshine

We are still here in Ukraine. Our adoption of Kole is almost complete and we are totally IN LOVE. 

Thank you SO MUCH to all of you that helped make this happen!!!! 

Words could never express how grateful I am. 

I've dreamed of this for a year. 

I love that when you give your heart completely to God, He will give you what you desire. 

 

"This Love" by Mandi Mapes

Introducing the latest little "House" member

I've always enjoyed naming my children. I like different kind of names, and one's that have a special meaning

Genesis Lin = "Beginning" She is our first and the Beautiful Beginning to our family. Lin was after me

Jude Steven = "Praise, Thanks". Steven means "Crowned" and is named after my Dad and my older brother

Zane Adrien = "God is Gracious".  Adrien is his Daddy's middle name

Gabe Artem = "God is my Strength" Artem was his given first name

Levi Vitalik = "Joined in Harmony" Vitalik was his given birth name

And our newest little one we have named....



Well first I have to tell you how we came to name him!

All my kids have a story behind their names, so of course I have to share his. 

You know we have been calling him Kole and that is because after hearing the nannies all call him Kolya last year,  which sounds close to Kole, we decided that he recognizes his name and we should keep it close to what he is used to

We will be keeping his given name on his birth certificate which is Mykola, pronounced = mi-cola
But we will call him Kole

And for his middle name we decided to name him after my two younger brothers,
Luke and Adam



My brother Luke

 My sisters, Tanya & Kara, Luke and Me



I'm sure he is sick of hearing me tell this, but when he was a baby he would call me,  Mommy Ninnie. He couldn't pronounce Lindy, thus the Ninnie

I was a second mommy to him. Dressed him, fed him, and changed his diapers

Nice thought huh Luke?

The comedian of the family. From a very young age he had the ability to make anyone laugh. He is the only sibling out of 6 that could get out of a spanking by waving his bottom back and forth and saying, "Hit the moving target"

Witty, hard working, generous, selfless, compassionate, comforter

That's my brother Luke

I cannot wait to see what God has in store for him cause I know with God, Luke is gonna do some amazing things!

Watch out world

There is no stopping the moving target



Then there is the baby of the family, Adam
 
Amber and Adam's Engagement Photo. Their wedding is next month!  


There are 15 years between the two of us

I  practiced my mothering skills on him too when he was little

Dressed him, fed him, and yes, you know the rest

I learned early on that he was a carbon copy of my older brother, which is crazy since he was only 1 year old when my older brother moved away

I also learned quickly that when you are on the road and he asks you how much longer, do not say a couple minutes. Because after 2 minutes he will tell you that it has been exactly 120 seconds and we aren't there yet like I said we would be. Adam at the age of 5 could add and multiply better than any adult in the room

My Jude man is a mini Adam. His humor, gentleness. And my Zane has Adam's obsession with numbers

Adam has a passion for learning but most importantly, a passion for God

Strong, smart, caring, focused, patient, giving

I am supper blessed to have Luke and Adam as my little brothers

I love that I can call them friend

So it is with great pleasure I introduce to you,

Kole Luka House

Kole: Victory of the People
Luke: Light
Adam: Earth 
Oh yes, this boy is gonna rock this world!

 

Leaving the flock for our little lost sheep

You know that parable where the Shepherd leaves his flock to find the one lost sheep.



Growing up I would hear that story and wonder if the Shepherd cared for that lost one more than all his others.

Was it easy for him to up and leave the rest behind.
 
As I sit here hundreds of miles away from my 5 sheep children I wonder about that journey the Shepherd made.


 

This journey to Kole has been a long one.

It's cost so much financially, emotionally, physically.

Leaving my children behind for many weeks was one of the hardest things I had to do.

I love my children. Adore them.

Not a day on this journey goes by that I don't think about my kids.

How much I miss them and would love to be back with them right now.

But Kole needs us.





He needed us to come searching for him and to bring him back, home, where he belongs.

Now I know.

On those days that I feel like my Shepherd isn't near. When it seems that He is spending all His time with someone else that is hurting. Lost.

I know.

He is thinking of me. 

He loves me. Adores me.

Sometimes though there are others that are hurting and need my Shepherd.

The great news is that in the end, we will all be HOME. Where we belong.

Spending Eternity with our Shepherd.

Mommy's Tears

My heart broke this morning.

As I walked into the front office of Kole's orphanage I saw a father sitting on the couch holding a beautiful baby boy. One look at his almond shaped eyes and adorable stubby fingers and I knew right away that the baby had down syndrome.  He looked to be about a couple months old.  He was cooing and looking at his daddy's face smiling while his daddy stroked his arm. The mother was sitting beside them, tears pouring down her face.

My facilitator said it was a sad moment because they were leaving their baby at the orphanage.

Beside the couch were bags full of baby blankets, toys and diapers.

I wonder if there was a day that that young couple was overjoyed to have a son.  I bet they excitedly got a little room all ready for his arrival placing those fuzzy blankets and colorful toys in his crib. 

When did that joy turn to sadness.  Did they know right away that their long awaited son had down syndrome. Did they look at their son and think that maybe it would be ok. Maybe they could parent a child like this.

Just look at him. Look at his sweet face. Listen to his laugh. How can this be a bad thing?

Maybe he has a heart condition they can in no way afford to have fixed. Maybe a family member is telling them that this kind of child is no good. That children with down syndrome are violent and have no chance of having any kind of future here in Ukraine.

Whatever the reason, one thing I know for sure. That mommy and daddy WANTED and LOVED their baby boy. It was ripping the mothers heart out to place her baby in a strangers arms to now care for in this institutional setting.

What can we do to change this mentality? It wasn't long ago that children with down syndrome were institutionalized in America. And even now we put to death 90% of children that are diagnosed with down syndrome while still in the womb.

I wanted so badly to tell this mom that down syndrome is not the end, it can be the beginning! These children are wonderful and beautiful. They can have a great future.

I pray that precious baby boy will know love. I pray that years will not go by living in the orphanage causing him to bang his head just so he can feel. That he will not form the habit of gouging his eyes or rocking strongly back and forth, back and forth. I pray that he will soon have a family that will help him to grow into all that he is meant to be.

I pray for his birth mother and father, that God will heal their broken hearts. 

After 15 months, my Kole is finally back in my arms

Last night at 8pm we boarded a train (I was in shock about it the entire time, will blog about that later) and headed to Zap. We arrived at almost 6am. It was pouring rain and cold out. We ran to our car and drove to our apartment (which I was also in shock over and will blog about later) where we unpacked and showered and enjoyed a cup of coffee.
At 9am we left to do some running around getting papers signed, and then finally off to the orphanage.

Driving in to the orphanage felt very surreal. I looked at the Ukrainian flag that Levi loved to come out to to sit under and watch it blow in the wind. Memories flooded my mind as we walked past the colorful bench that we sat at for hours holding our very frail, crying, terrified little Gabe.

After meeting the director we met with the orphanage doctor. There she told us all the history they have on Kole. He was born at 36 weeks via C-Section.  He was 4 pounds 6.5 ounces at birth and they said they could tell right away he had Ds.
His records say he has an extra "string" in his heart, bowed legs, flat feet, and of course Down Syndrome.
They report Kole to be able to repeat a few syllables, but say he doesn't talk much. He can follow directions, like if you ask him to stack the blocks. He feeds and dresses himself and they said he loves music and loves to dance!

The social worker and doctor both expressed how thankful they are that he is finally getting adopted as no one has ever inquired about him his entire life.

My facilitator cannot understand why it seemed that in the past Kole had been unavailable for adoption since his records clearly state that his parents signed over their rights and had him placed in an orpahange right after his birth.

She said to me, "The only explanation is that God saved him for you" 

Yes, yes He did.


 

 Oh how I longed for this day


First time meeting Daddy. I think he was a little unsure, maybe because they don't see men very often, or maybe he's not a Vikings fan;) 


They took him away right at lunch time to meet us. He was very ready to get back to his meal!


 Another lefty like Levi and Papa


The Nannies LOVED looking at the album I brought of Levi filled with photo's of him this past year. The Nanny here said she recognized us from last year. They all looked, laughed, and smiled, remarking that Levi looked totally different.


Right after lunch the kids each take their chair and line it up at the back of the room



Kole seemed to be a stickler for the routine so he was anxious to get his chair in place and get undressed to go potty






It was time for the kids to all take their naps so we had to leave. We will be allowed to visit Kole everyday from 9am - 11:30 & 4pm - 6:30. 
We will visit until we have court which should be in about 2 weeks. After court, we will get Kole out and he will stay with us while we wait for his passports. Once the passport is in (2-5 days), we will take the train back to Kiev where we will finish up paperwork for 2 days, then head home!! I am thinking if all goes well, we will be home by the end of the week of September 17.

I am in awe that God has allowed me to be this child's mother. This whole adoption so far has been amazing. I can't wait to get back to him tomorrow!!!

"And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name" - Luke 1:47-49

We are well on our way

We had our first appointment today to find out if Kole is available and get his background information. All went very well!  He is definitely available for adoption and is still at the baby house.

We will get the referal tomorrow and then board a train to his region where we will arrive at 5am. We plan to freshen up at our apartment and then head to the orphanage to see our boy!!!

I think I finally relaxed for the first time in months!  I cannot wait to see my little man again.

Here he is at about a year old. SUCH a cutie! I couldn't help but wish I had known him then so I could cuddle and love on him.



This was the picture that was listed on the Ukrainian web site


Real men wear pink


Total Stud muffin. This was taken last year, probably shortly after we met him


Our relieved and excited faces after the appointment. (Taken with the only lens I brought, my 35, thus explains the close-up) 


Everyone takes photo's outside of their DAP appointment. Here's our awesome ones



The streets around us


Souvenir shopping


Our facilitator took one of us together. Finally you can see more than just our cheeks and noses


Coming up...Seeing Kole!!!

Let the adoption journey begin!

We are here in Kiev once again! I cannot believe that in a years time we have traveled back to this place, our boys birth place.

We arrived at our apartment yesterday, settled in, got our internet up and running and enjoyed a dinner of bread, cheese, some kind of meat (maybe salami??), coffee, and chocolate. Oh how I missed the chocolate! My plan was to lose about 10 pounds on this trip, but I quickly realized after my first bite of dark chocolate that that number may be going the other way. 
We brought a carry on suitcase filled with diapers for the orphanage that will be returning full of chocolate;)

I was able to Skype with the kids. I talked with them and was able to watch them as they swam in my sisters pool. It's so cool that I can be so far away and be able to watch them. Technology rocks. 

I still can't believe that God has allowed us to take this journey again. I would never had guessed that we would be adding to our family so quickly. I am beyond grateful that God is allowing ME to be Kole's mommy.

We will have our first appointment tomorrow at 11am where we will see Kole's baby pictures and find out any info they have on him and get the green light to complete his adoption. Please pray that all will go well. So many families get this far only to find out their child is unavailable or to have papers missing which creates big set backs.

I didn't get a chance to share before we left since it was a crazy week with getting things ready to leave but Levi and Gabe started school. They are doing great. Levi of course loves riding the bus everyday. They are on this huge yellow bus almost alone, there may be a couple other kids on there. The bus driver is great and they have an assistant riding along just for them.
I really like their teacher. She has worked with special needs for 13 years. It was a very hard decision to put them in school but I know that they will blossom this year. I will be able to school my other 3 while Gabe and Levi are at school and will have lots of bonding time with Kole. Already I can see that school has been positive for Levi. After his first day when he came home I was out running errands. Guy said that he seemed very quiet and finally asked him if he wanted mommy. He started to sign mommy and was flapping his hands and yelling. When I came home he ran to me screaming and held me while he kept laughing and looking again and again at my face. Safe to say that the time away isn't going to hurt our bond at all. They will get daily therapy too which is something I couldn't do on a daily basis as their therapy is such a long drive for me to do more than twice a week.

Just look at this handsome Kindergartener 


Can you spot the happy home schooler and his school clothes?? ;) 














Along with all that craziness last week, Gabe had eye surgery. The doctor said that while he was under she was able to do a thorough eye exam and she found his eyes to be in great shape. She believes that after he heals his vision should be about perfect.

If you think about it, keep my 5 children at home in your prayers. It's hard leaving them for so long. One of my boys started having anxiety issues since our last trip. He hates to be anywhere away from me. He is trying to be strong this time but he told me several times before I left that he is sad and tears would fill his eyes.
I know this will all be worth it, and I know my kids get that. Just pray the loneliness will be short for them and that they can heal when we get back.



Thank you all so much for your support in this journey of ours. You have played a vital part whether it's your financial support, sharing our story, or prayers. It's because of you that Kole will be rescued soon!!!

My mommy has lost it

What is that?









My mommy is saying that they got their travel date to go and get my new brother?!?!





And now she is freaking out!











She thought the date would be 3 weeks from now, not NINE days! 





She is running around the house like a crazy person saying she has a thousand things to do.





I am just excited that I will get to meet my brother soon

And the Winners are....

One Month

Over 600 entries

THE BEST friends, family, advocates, orphan lovers EVER


THANK YOU so much to all our wonderful friends and family for your generous donations and handmade gifts. Without you this wouldn't have happened.


THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our two families got together to draw all the names. We recorded this fun moment.
Below is the clip showing the first 5 winners, also featuring Kole and Sasha's former roommates;)

Beautiful, Beautiful. Gabe's 1 year home

6 years

Totally abandon

Left to die

6 years

In a crib

No toys

Staring at white walls

6 years

Unwanted

Undesirable

Unloved

Until....

Our visit to the Institution

First of all I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you that have already given to our blog fundraiser. We had a challenge from very generous donor that would donate $1,300 IF we could get our total to $1,800 in 5 days.

Funny story. When I went to bed at 11pm that last night we were only hundreds away from our goal. You all kept giving and giving and giving.
I woke up the next morning and saw that the total was $1830!

Then, I went and checked the Paypal which is where all the money is kept in an account for Maria and I.

THAT total read over $2,400!!!!!

The ChipIn wasn't keeping up with the actual amount.

Silly ChipIn

With other donations given outside of Paypal those 5 days, our total is now $4,000!!!

That is just $2,000 away from BOTH Maria and I being fully funded!

WOW

You all ROCK

Our Blog Fundraiser with all the amazing give-ways will be running until the end of this month. We will be drawing names for all the winners on July 1st.

So keep spreading the word and doing what you all are doing.

2 orphans are very close to coming HOME

With your help our sweet Kole will never have to know what it's like to be transferred to a mental institution. Typically if a special needs child is not adopted by the age of 5, they will be transferred.  Although the orphange is not ideal, the mental institutions are worse. Genesis and I had the blessing of visiting the institution that would be where Kole would be transferred to if we don't get to him in time. I talked to the director and said that I wanted to take photo's and get the children listed. He didn't understand why. He said no one has EVER adopted from his institution. After telling him about Gabe and Levi and their conditions, telling him that we were adopting them and I was sure more families would come for these kids too, his eyes filled with tears.

Over on Facebook I was posting pictures from each day last year that we took while adopting Gabe and Levi. When I got up to the day that was my visit to the institution I had a hard time posting. I haven't been able to post them for a year.

After going through them I decided to put them on video and let them speak for themselves.




I wanted to share a little about some of the photo's that were in the video. This boy is amazing! He is very mature and well mannered. He has no cognitive delays. He wants so badly to have a family. I can't even imagine having to live in a mental institution when the only thing wrong is that you can't walk. I would LOVE to see him with a family!

This guy cracked me up! There was a group of missionaries handing out food and treats. I sat there and watched as different ones would come and give him something. He would act like he had nothing, and then when the person would turn around he would stuff the food into his shirt! 

He had quite the stash when we left. I said he was the smartest one in the bunch!

 This is the room where the older men stayed. We were outside that day since the weather was warm, but in the cold winters they will spend all their days here

Their outside time would be spent here. It smelled terribly of human feces.

This little boy would chew all day on his flesh. It didn't matter if you were to wrap his arms in bandages, he would just chew past them.

This boy stole my heart! Isn't he the cutest?!?! So very sweet and gentle. 

I would love to see him get adopted.

This precious girl was 12 years old. She has a tumor that started out small growing on her head, it's why her parents abandon her. Yet her condition could have easily been treated here in the states. She loved getting attention and would hold your hand tight, all the while she would sing. SING. Here. 

In this place of abandonment she had something to sing about.

And here is little Sasha. Shortly after we got home he was listed for adoption. An amazing family ran to get him.

And THIS is Sasha after only FOUR months home!!!! LOVE is an amazing thing. Amazing.  

The world can no longer be left to mere diplomats, politicians, and business leaders. They have done the best they could, no doubt. But this is an age for spiritual heroes - a time for men and women to be heroic in their faith and in spiritual character and power. The greatest danger to the Christian church today is that of pitching its message too low. 

 -Dallas Willard

 Some of the children in the video are available for adoption. 

 Please go to Reece's Rainbow to find out more. 

 Many of the quotes were taken from "The Hole in our Gospel" by Richard Stearns